Remind Me Who I Am

Let me tell you a secret: I'm afraid. A lot.

I'm afraid of speaking--to a group and one-on-one. I'm afraid of failure--whether it's a hard class in school, the ACT test, or on my college apps. I'm afraid of telling about who I am, really, beneath the surface--whether it's expressing my witty, weird sense of humor or telling people I observe the seventh-day Sabbath.

And the fear stretches far beyond that into the simple, everyday things. Most of all, I'm afraid of what God will command me to do (because I'm afraid I'll fail) and afraid of what He's already told me to do (because I've already failed and I'm afraid there's no way I can succeed).

But God has a way of wagging His finger at all my misbeliefs and correcting them Himself.

Like when He reminded me that He didn't give me "a spirit of fear and timidity"--that's something of the flesh--"but of power, love, and self-discipline" (1 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

And those three gifts that He has given are really important and can help me conquer my fears.

Because He's given me the power to ace my tests', classes', and college applications'.

He's given me love--love for Him, to realize that He made me beautiful; love for myself, to be okay with how different I am; and love for others, to be honest and share who I am with them no matter what they may think.

And He's given me the self-discipline to accomplish the things He commands me to do, no matter how difficult they may seem.

And even when fear still creeps up around test-time, socializing-time, or obedience-time, God reminds me He "will personally go ahead of [me]. He will be with [me]; he will neither fail [me] nor abandon [me]" (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT).

A devotional I read recently gave me this simple advice for dealing with fear: remember who you are. If I know and am assured of the fact that I am a daughter of God, saved by His Son Jesus and filled with His Holy Spirit, then what do I have to be afraid of?

Nothing. Not even death.

That's hard to write, hard to believe. Even as I type the words, my mind races to argue with that statement: "What about kidnapping? What about someone taking my brother or me? What if someone hurts my brother or me, or my mom? What if something happens to my dad?" I try to imagine the worst case scenario--extreme physical suffering, such that it seems unbearable.

But God says I don't have to fear even that: "don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot do any more to you after that" (Luke 12:4 NLT).

And besides, if Jesus could take His extreme physical (and emotional and spiritual) suffering for me, shouldn't I for Him?

The point is, when I remember who I am, I have nothing to fear.

When I lose my way,

And I forget my name

Remind me who I am

In the mirror all I see

Is who I don't wanna be

Remind me who I am...

Tell me, once again

Who I am to You, who I am to You

Tell me, lest I forget

Who I am to You, that I belong to You

--Jason Gray, "Remind Me Who I Am"

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Another devo-ish post yayyy! Well, I think yay. And apparently a lot of you do, too! So what do you think about this post? How do you handle fear? If you're a Christian, what Bible verses have you used to combat fear? If you aren't a Christian, what helps you fight fear? Let me know in the comments!

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Music Lately

Howdy.

this gif is so cute like asdfghjkl how did I run into such cuteness

A. I'm so happy about all the positive feedback I received on my previous post! I will try to publish more devotional-style posts from here on out

B. This month I'm trying a new "organizational-schedule" thing with my blog and related social media, so at least for September you should see me around more! (Although I don't know if I'll be able to read and comment on your blog posts *crying emoji*) Be sure to follow my Instagram and Twitter for regular updates from yours truly.

Now on to the possssst.

So it's been a while since I've shared my music faves with ya! Well I'm doing it again because while I haven't had time for a lot of things lately, I always have time for music.

As you can see, there is only one song from my seven-song list that doesn't fall under the rap/hip-hop/spoken word category. That's because ever since I got back from my creative writing program (about which I promise I will share more soon) I've been high-key obsessed with poetry and wordsmithery. Plus also I've just been litttt. So I'll get into some of these faves with you.

This for the kids of the king of all kings / This is the holiest thing / This is the beat that played under the Word / This is the sheep that ain't like what it herd--"All We Got"

I honestly don't even know where to start with Chance the Rapper. I'm once again hecka late to the game and only recently started listening to his music, but OHMYGOODNESS. The feels from his songs:

• joy
• praise
• laughter
• sadness
• sorrow
• tears
• nostalgia
• hope
• humor
• hugs
• family 

Not everyone can get into rap and I completely understand that, but I encourage you to try his music at least once. To me it's not even rap or hip-hop, it's like poetry set to beats and piano and choir voices and drums and synth and whatever else Chance chooses to mix in. "Blessings: Reprise" isn't on this playlist but that's the song I'd advise anyone who isn't familiar with Chance to listen to first.

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In the beginning there was the Hero. / And the Hero was the Father. / And the Hero was the Spirit. / And the Hero was the Son. / And if this hurts your head already, / Welcome to the kingdom--"The Story (A Spoken Word)"

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER FROM THERE.

Sorry but I heard this spoken word from Jimmy Needham (who I'd previously heard only as a singer) completely by accident and it's so beautiful I can't. This kind of beauty makes me appreciate Jesus even more and see His relation to me in a whole new, brighter light. A similar thing happened when I read The Chronicles of Narnia. But Jimmy Needham's poem is on a whole other level. You just have to hear it to understand.

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First things first / I'ma say all the words inside my head / I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh / The way that things have been, oh ooh--"Believer"

I've been an Imagine Dragons fan for a while now and while I haven't heard all the songs from their new album, "Thunder" and "Believer" are definitely awesome. I love that "Believer" is on the radio so often because sometimes I will randomly turn on our car radio and that song will be playing and I'm just like

This song isn't exactly an "ohmygoodness so beautiful", but I like the lyrics and it's super catchy!

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So those are the songs I've been listening to lately! To be honest most of my "recently played" music is either rap or solo piano songs (for studying and such). That's a pretty wide range lol, but it's reflective of my senior year so far!

What have you been listening to recently? What do you think of my list? Let me kow in the comments!

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Search Me, O God

Reciting the words of Psalm 139:23 always makes me a bit nervous.

Asking God to look through the deepest darkest parts of my heart isn't the easiest thing to do. I mean, He's already done it. He already sees my heart. But when I invite Him to do a survey of my heart, I'm also asking Him to expose those things to me, and give me something to pray over and work on. So I'm not afraid of God knowing what's in the darkest recesses of my heart, but me knowing what's in there.

But the last time I hesitated to pray this verse, God sent me an analogy: Asking God to search your heart is kind of like going to the dentist.

(stay with me here)

Now I don't know about you all--maybe you have flawless sparkling teeth--but if a dentist were to stick a little light and scraper thing into my mouth, I'd be terrified. Because I'm pretty sure I've got some not-good things going on in there. So I'd rather just avoid the dentist.

But the thing is, if I keep on going with the cavities and whatever else in my mouth, they'll only get worse. So if the dentist doesn't examine my mouth and fix the problems now, things could get really bad--like, gum cancer/teeth pulling/dentures bad.

It's kind of similar with our hearts.

(keep staying with me)

We've all got something evil in there, no matter how pure and great we seem on the surface. God knows what's in our hearts and offers to expose it so it can be fixed.

But if we let fear consume us, then the evil will only get worse--much worse than dentures or even gum cancer.

If we truly want to have "clear consciences before God" (Acts 24:16) and make progress in Christ, we need to be willing to let God sift through the mess in our hearts and pull out the dark parts. And we know that anything He finds can be conquered through Him.

So let's pray regularly over Psalm 139:23 to keep our hearts healthy, pure, and clear before God.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.—Psalm 139:23-24

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Yay! Ya stayed with me! ^_^ What do you all think of this devotional-style post? It's pretty new for me but I'd really like to share more about God and what He's doing for me . Would ya like more like this? What are your thoughts on Psalm 139? Let me know in the comments!

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Things I've Done Since I've Been Gone

*note: "since I've been gone" means "since my last 'official' post near the end of 2015"

*double-note: this is not an exhaustive list; I thought including bathroom breaks, food menus, and daily location itineraries might be doing a bit much. for the sake of time and sanity, I've included what I feel to be "big deals"

*triple-note: sorry for all the notes. I'm sure it's low-key annoying. and for some of you, the word "low-key" is even more annoying. so I'm just making things worse right now. I'll stop.

2016

· Completed my sophomore year of high school

  - I survived that Honors American Lit class that sparked my "I Am Not Okay, And Yet I Am" post (passed with an A, actually)

· Turned sixteen

  - And went on two mall shopping sprees ^_^

· Received my driver's license

  - after breaking my glasses in 2015 and being unable to replace them for several months, my parents had to teach me to drive in less than 6 months

  - we had to rush to complete a certain number of hours driving before my permit expired so I could get my license (otherwise I would've had to wait a whole nother year)

  - I failed my first test rather bad (pulled onto a street while another car was coming pretty quickly)

  - passed my second test with flying colors (nearly perfect)

· Took a super-fun, super-short family road trip

  - saw the beautiful play Moses

  - sat in a hot tub for the first time (IT WAS AMAAAZING)

  - just had fun in general

· Started my junior year of high school

  - attended a local homeschool co-op for the first time which was funnn

  - also got involved with Student Council there (as secretary)

  - took US Government during a presidential election year WHICH WAS A MISTAKE (okay not totally a mistake but not something I would do again)

· Cut my hairrr

  - which is a pretty big deal in my circle! 

  - it's since grown out, but here's what it looked like:

· Was admitted to the hospital (twice) :(

  - acid reflux + stomach ulcer + low hemoglobin = DISASTER

  - almost had a blood transfusion :O

  - had prayer session, ended up not having to have transfusion! praise God! :D

  - also on the bright side, the hospital I stayed in was a lovely place w/ lovely people who truly blessed me

  - and I got to watch Ant-Man for the 1st time, Age of Ultron for the 2nd time, and Tangled for like the 1000th time while there. so overall not too bad :P

2017

· Began my college search

 - I've got an entire post on that coming later (what do you all think of a college/senior year series?)

 - visited a state school (which was an eye-opening experience)

· Completed junior year

  - with a high GPA! ^_^

· Took the ACT

  - and scored pretty high! :D

  - I was aiming for a little higher than what I got though so I might retake it

· Attended a two-week creative writing summer pre-college program

  - you guys...this has been the staple of 2017

  - I was grinding every day this spring/summer to raise the money for the program

  - there will be an entirely separate post dedicated to detailing my application process, fundraising efforts, preparation, and time at the program! (hmm...maybe that will take a series too...)

· Turned seventeen
  - one of my most interesting birthdays, as it was the first one not spent with my family (but I enjoyed it nonetheless)
  - my program-mates (?) sang "Happy Birthday" to me during college seminar so that was awesome!
  - and a dorm-mate (again, ?) painted my nails for me
  - no cake, but being at the pre-college program was kinda like my cake (not like I woulda been made if anyone had given me some or anything...)

· Saw Spider-Man: Homecoming
  - if you haven't seen it yet, YEP, IT'S AS AWESOME AS YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BE AND PROBABLY EVEN MORE SO
  - if you have seen it, AREN'T MJ/MICHELLE + PETER GONNA BE A THING C'MONNN MAN
  - if you haven't seen it and have no plans to: um...okay.

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So that's what I've been up to! See why I've been gone so long? I actually have an active life now, which I love, but I also miss blogging.

Sooo no promises, but I want to to try blogging again this year! I might try typing up a bunch of posts at once and then scheduling them. I also might try posting on YouTube again...? I'm not sure; we'll see. I really miss my blog as a creative outlet and want to return.

What have y'all been up to? Let me know in the comments! I'll try to get at ya again with another post soon. In the mean time, check out my Instagram and Twitter in my sidebar; I'll post more often on those outlets.

Bye for now!

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[kind of] updates

Hello!

Wow, it's been a while since I posted that "I'm alive" post hasn't it?

I've been wanting to get back to blogging sooo bad but my life has recently gotten 100% busier than it was before (and that is not an exaggeration). Some very exciting opportunities are going on right now that I'm not quite ready to share here yet but stay tuned because it is pretty awesome! (Okay fine I'll give you a hint--it has to do with college! And no I haven't graduated yet, I'm class of 2018 ^_^)

I just wanted to pop in and say:

1) hiiii

the fact that she's in pj's is just too accurate of a representation of me right now

2) God is so so so good and I'm never going to stop acknowledging this and I hope someday if you haven't recognized His goodness already that you do discover it and if you have already then I hope you keep recognizing it every day.

3) I am planning on getting back to blogging; I feel my creative juices flowing and I need my own space to let it out and this blog is the perfect place to do that. I'm thinking about some changes both visually and content-wise but ehh I don't know yet? Anyway, I'll be spilling out my thoughts into some post drafts and setting up some blog social media (finally!) so maybe I can kick this baby back off in August. (I'd do it earlier but my exciting, currently secret opportunity is gonna get in the way most of the summer.)

I hope you all are doing well! I haven't gotten to read any of my blog subscriptions lately (sorry!) but I did read some a couple months ago and I lots of you are really thriving. Most excited about:

• my long-time blogger bestie Rachel slaying over at SILVER MESS
• the amazing Abigail at The Ups and Downs of My Not-So-Average Life (I think it might just be "The Ups and Downs" now though...guys this is how long I've been gone *crying*)
• every blog in my reading list because they're all awesome and inspiring

Pray for me that I'll have time to get back into blogging regularly and updating my blog altogether because I really miss it and I miss you all! 

Until next time ♥

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Hello + Thank You

Well hey there everyone!

I guess you haven't seen me in a while?

1. I am okay. :)

2. I want to be either a(n)

    a. novelist

    

    b. journalist

    c. editor

3. Thanks for all the kind comments I received! You all are really awesome

So things did turn out okay--I kind of dropped my blog at the end of 2015, but I just wanted to return and say I'm alive. Unfortunately I don't have time to return regularly to blogging right now, but if and when I do, my whole mindset will be brand new--I really want to use my blog to honor God and inspire people. But I'll still be goofy Olivia, for sure :P

Last year was hard but good; I learned a lot and went through a lot and someday I'll get to the point where I share it with you all. But trust me, God matured me and changed me in amazing ways. I hope He keeps doing it. Or, that I keep allowing Him to do it. That's really what's up.

What's also up this year?

1) Taking a class at a local co-op/school (which means regular human socialization HELP)

2) School in general

3) Trying to get serious about life because um ADULTHOOD IN ONE YEAR WHAT

4) Trying to read more because that really enriched my creative side and I need to get back into it

Ahh. Things are crazy. I'm crazy. But God is good and He keeps on being good to me, so I'm more than okay now. I'm blessed.

I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.--Psalm 13:6

(I won't literally sing though; I wouldn't want to do that to your ears :P)

I update my Goodreads regularly now so if you wanna friend/follow me on there (and let me know how you found me when you send the friend request so I don't freak out :P) then you can see what I'm reading!

Thank you all so so so so so much.

a crying Michael Scott gif to express my full gratitude

How have you all been? I've been trying to catch up on some blogs and drop comments here and there. Let me know what you all are up to! :)

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I Am Not Okay, and Yet, I Am + This Month's Spotify Playlist

when it's all said and done

you and I are the lucky ones

It's funny, you'd think being a 10th grade homeschooled kid, life would be pretty easy. Homeschooling is supposed to mean flexibility and new means of learning and just being different than public school.

And yet, for some reason, daily I find myself comparing my schooling to public school.

You see, you might not realize it, but you public school kids get the advantage of having your day already planned out by the school district. Your class hours are packed neatly into a little daily seven-hour schedule, and you choose (for the most part) what you do outside of school.

Unfortunately, I do not have these luxuries.

Sure, I have a couple of online live classes which force me to have some semblance of order and regularity. But aside from that, I must outline my day. I must calculate how I spend the approximately thirteen hours of sunlight given me. I'm in control. And guess what? That's very, very bad for me.

I'm a natural-born procrastinator. It used to be funny, but now it isn't. So far this semester, that trait has given me nothing but late projects, bad grades, and hours of stress and anxiety. The other morning, I just broke down into tears and literally cried out to God to help me. Because I'm so disorganized and literally too messed up to function.

under the sun I found we were left to drown

evil abounds, weight is pullin’ us down

Do you ever get that drowning feeling? Like you're underwater and all the water is just filling your lungs and you can't swim to the surface and you try to yell for help but you just take in more water?

Yeah, I've had that feeling in dreams a lot. It's horrible. And it's the best way I can describe these past few weeks.

I've been drowning--breathing in the fatal waters of assignments, tests, and reading. And, flailing my arms and kicking my legs, I've been trying to cough back out overdue assignments, barely B- test scores, and half-skimming, half-just-reading-summaries of assigned reading. It's terrible and I've felt alone and scared and upset and angry with myself. I smile and laugh and go on pretending I'm okay. But really I'm not.

no sight or sound

impaired to His care

chasing after the wind

running after the air

A couple weeks ago, I made myself a little poster out of left over printer paper. And it just said two (three?) things: College-bound 2018.

That's my current goal. It's my dream. I want college so badly. I want to stand on campus and I want to study in the library and I want to cry my eyes out when things get too tough and I want to connect with other people who are struggling as much as I am.

I want college. And, more importantly, I need it for my dream job.

And yet, standing here on the weak precipice of measly old tenth grade, I realize I can't get there without God.

It's funny, I see people relate a belief in God with perfection. Well, if I'm perfect, then call...well, who will we call? Because if I, Olivia Williams, am perfect, then the world has ended and we should all be floating around in an oxygen-less, pitch-black atmosphere right now.

Over the past few weeks, I've realized how much I need God. A while back, I just felt so distant from Him and so cold to the world around me. I begged Him to shatter me into a million pieces if that's what it took to bring me to Him. And He did it. These past few weeks have shattered me.

I don't believe in luck

I believe in grace

but they say we’re lucky cause we seen His face

But guess what? I'm alive. I woke up this morning. And, God willing, I'll wake up tomorrow. I'll be breathing with my own lungs and using my own kidneys and pumping blood with my own heart. I will see a house that I don't deserve with my own eyes; I will hear an unconditionally loving family with my own ears; and I will sing the praises of God with my own voice.

That's the thing, you know? I get so caught up in everyday life not being "perfect" that I forget the literally billions of blessings I receive every day. 

And my suffering is nothing, compared to what Christ took for me. Did I forget the words of Paul to the Corinthians? "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look NOT at the things which ARE seen, but at the things which are NOT seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are NOT seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

Lord, we heard You call us

You heard our answer

and You give us second chances when we throw our hands up

So I will lift my eyes. Above my weakness and my suffering and my constant, daily, hourly, minutely falling. I will reach toward the heavens and touch the hem of my Father's garment, because even that is more than I deserve. And every morning I will get up, and I will try. I will fight. I will push back the darkness and the poison of the world, and I will reach out and up, and I will connect with God, and I will survive. Because I am far too blessed, and have come through far too much, to just quit now.

If you're struggling, no matter what it is--school, friendships, health, family/loved ones, personal issues, etc.--I want you to know that you are alive. There are so many different definitions of the word, but the most simple, found in almost all dictionaries, is "living, not dead". If you are reading this, you are breathing. And you are alive. You are not dead, though we deserve to be. Every moment we inhale is another blessing. And we should use that moment to praise Him, to serve Him, and to thank Him for His blessings, no matter what is going on in our lives.

Remember when I said I wasn't okay? Well, I'm not. And yet, at the same time, I am.

when it's all said and done

you and I are the lucky ones

we fought many

and we'll fight the night until we see the sun

we are the lucky ones

we are here

—Lecrae, Lucky Ones

(There, I am poured out, I am empty. I literally can say nothing else. Here is the month's playlist:

If you need to feel powerful, listen to The Stays. 

If you need to know you're not alone, listen to Here. 

If you need to feel inexplicably wistful and nostalgic, listen to the White Winter Hymnal cover. 

If you need to feel strangely sad, listen to the Photograph cover. 

If you need to reevaluate how you've been living your entire life, listen to Uncomfortable. 

If you need to have a little, random giggle, listen to the Watch Me cover. 

And if you just need to feel the love and words and promises of God enveloping you, saving you, comforting you, listen to Times.

And that is all that is left within me today.)

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Haleemah and O's BLOGGER FRIEND TAG!

You all remember the awesome and beautiful Haleemah, right? The one with the cute and relatable blog? I did an interview with her a couple months ago. Well now, we've constructed a tag together! Yay! ^^ This is the third tag that I've created with someone (I've also done the Literature Photography Tag with Morning and the Lyric Medley Tag with Bryleigh) and I'm super excited to share it with you! The theme of the tag hits close to home for me as I've gained so many blogger besties during my short time in the blogosphere, and it's fun to see how much I have in common with them. So I suggest you guys do this tag with your blogger friends...or maybe with me? :P Anyway, without further ado:

There aren't any official rules but if you end up wanting to do this tag and don't know how to:

+ Find a blogger friend (you've gotta have at least one fellow blogger's email address buried deep down in your email contacts)

+ Suggest the tag to them (email them something like "HEY...WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS, LET'S DO THIS RANDOM TAG TOGETHER!" and make sure you type it in all caps and everything)

+ Write up an even number of questions (there's no specific number and you can just use the ones from our tag if you want) and post half of the questions on one blog and the one half on the other.

+ Answer the questions, indicating whose answer is whose (like Haleemah and I did below with the first letters of our names)

+ Add the overloaded-girly-pastel-time-machine-back-to-first-grade banner above to the post

+ Post and share!

And now, a demonstration: 

1. When and how did you find each other's blogs?

H: I found Olivia's blog when she left a comment on one of my earlier posts. My blog isn't exactly huge so a comment is a big deal for me and I always check out the people who are lovely enough to leave me one.  So yeah, I checked out Olivia's blog, found out she was 14 (at the time, like me), homeschooled (like me) and that her blog posts were so funny and enjoyable to read and I stuck around!

O: I...can't even remember how I found her blog haha. I think it was one of those things where I was just trolling through Blogger profiles with things in common with me and I found Haleemah's and was like "hey, this is cute!" and followed ^^

2. Describe each other's blogs in three words.

H: humorous, well written and relatable

O: creative, cute, and relatable :P

3. Something that you love about the other's blog?

H: I live for the gifs included in some posts

O: I said this above but Haleemah is honestly just so relatable. Also her posts about makeup are awesome, especially for a person like me with 0% knowledge in makeup.

4. Favorite post by the other?

H: I love Olivia's Unpopular Opinions Tag post, it cracked me up XD

O: I love all of her "monthly favourites" posts.

5. What was the last thing you posted? (before this tag)

H: The last thing I posted was a sort of apology post explaining why I've been so darn slack on my blog recently.

O: I posted the winners of my giveaway and also a little update on how school has already basically slaughtered me just two months in.

6. Fave blogs?

H: well as much as I enjoy writing on my own blog I don't actually do much blog reading. obviously I like and read Olivia's blog and I enjoy Zoella's (you heard of her at all?) blog too. And also those random beauty and fashion blogs that I click on when I need to read a review of a product of some sort. they help me out a lot ;)

O: Of course I love Haleemah's as well as Rose's, Morning's, Autumn's, Rcubed/Rachel's, and Mary's.

7. Put your music player on shuffle; what song did you land on?

H: Shout About It - The Vamps

O: Happy - Gardiner Sisters (cover)

8. Shared fandoms?

H: Well I don't think Olivia and I have many fandoms in common tbh but I know we both watch Supernatural and Teen Wolf so that's something I suppose right? XD

O: Supernatural-ish, like I've never watched it myself but I already have a deep connection to Dean, Sam, and especially Castiel due to Tumblr and Pinterest. Teen Wolf-ish also--okay maybe more like just Dylan O'Brien in general.

9. What's one thing you'd like to say to your blogger friend?

H: one thing? a full conversation would be nice XD

O: lol same; but if I could only say one thing I'd probably be like "hi." lol jk I'd probably say "you are so makeup- and fashion-knowledgeable; please teach me sensei."

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Sooo this tag was super fun not only to create but to participate in as well! I had sooo much fun collaborating with Haleemah (this girl just has the funniest personality) and I hope to be able to do it again in the future!

So make sure you check out Haleemah's post about the tag--and really just her blog in general because it's amazing--and let me know if you do this tag! (You probably won't because I made it sound so complicated but)

Anyway, see you guys next time! (Hopefully with an original post and more detailed updates...?)

☮

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Quick Post - GIVEAWAY WINNERSSSSS! + Mini Update

YAYAYAYAYAYAY

GUYSGUSYGUYSGUYSSSSS

This is just a quick post to announce the winners of the giveaway! Yaaaaay!

(let's just ignore the fact that this is five days later than I stated in my giveaway rules and info okay? okay.)

If you entered before September 8, watch the video below to see if you are a winner! (and also just check it out because you love me of course :P) (also make sure to switch to 1080p HD while watching so the blur doesn't destroy your eyesight)

Congratulations again to all the winners, and thanks again to everyone who entered! If you didn't win, don't worry; there will always be other giveaways!

So winners, check your inboxes for an email from me which should've been sent before I posted the video (to avoid any spam encounters) and make sure you respond to me in no more than THREE DAYS so I can get these prizes to you guys! ^^

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So besides all this, I can say:

a. I am alive

b. school is killing me help

c. I may have to take a sort of blogging-break noooooo

d. stay tuned for more updates as I try to juggle my not-even-all-that-busy-yet-but-somehow-still-murdering-my-lazy-self life

e. for those who don't know, I'm still plugging Miranda's blog because it, her art, and Miranda herself are just awesome okay like please go and check out that post with the drawing of me it is just



f. I'm currently obsessed with The Gardiner Sisters' cover of White Winter Hymnal

so bye, you guys are awesome, thanks for sticking with me through all this craziness, and thanks for participating in my very sloppily thrown together giveaway! See you soon (I hope)!

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INTERVIEW POSSSSST | Miranda - The Reindeer Files

OKAY OKAY OKAY HEY YES YOU THERE LISTEN

So there is this wonderful blogger named Miranda and did I say she is wonderful because she is. She blogs over at The Reindeer Files and is just amazing. Why is she amazing, you ask? BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS AN AMAZING ARTIST THAT'S WHY and you simply must check out the drawing she did of me in this post! (But first you need to read more about her below because she is just amazing)

ugh, her face is covered in this photo--darn me and my consistent post image formatting

Name? Miranda

Age? 16

Top three fears? disgusting school camp bathrooms, intense pain, forgetting important things

Last song you listened to? I’m Sorry About Yesterday - Fox Academy

If you could have anything (literally anything--food, clothes, electronics, etc.) right now, what would it be? Bamboo flooring! Or a vege patch with sunflowers (a whole field of sunflowers…)

What does your url mean? I’m really into reindeer- I just love how they’re really animals and they’re mythical creatures at the same time! I guess that’s a little bit like how I see people- we’re all real but at the same time parts of our personality and experiences are unimaginably wonderful. I suppose then that The Reindeer Files are just a place to share a little bit about what make me who I am!

Current favorite movie(s)? Hmmm… Juno, Moonrise Kingdom and Star Wars.

Current favorite song(s)? All the little lights - Passenger

Current favorite book(s)? A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Current favorite band(s)? Of Monsters and Men

Top three pet peeves? Buses that drive past you when you’re waiting, squished felt tip pens, running out of paint half way through a painting.

Are you close with your parents? Closer than a lot of my friends but not like I was when I was younger.

Favorite animals? Reindeer (of course!) and I also quite like foxes.

Favorite blogs? Miss Zali, The Minimalists, Frankie Magazine. But of course this changes constantly depending on my mood! Currently I’d describe it as “creative and idealistic”.

Three bad habits? Leaving paint on light switches, forgetting my phone, leaving lids off ingredients while I’m baking (and afterwards too, come to think of it!).

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So I loooved A Little Princess when I read it a couple years ago--it was just so sweet and intriguing and clever and I just loved it. And of course, who doesn't like a Passenger song? And ew. Let's just not talk about public bathrooms. Let's just...not.

So you have to (yes, it's a demand) check out her blog and her interview of me, if for no other reason than to see her spectacular drawing. And also THIS GIRL ONLY HAS TEN FOLLOWERS LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME so go, follow her, it is so worth it. Leave her a sweet comment. Seriously, this girl is awesome. She so deserves followers.

(P.S. that drawing is so amazing like seriously especially if you had seen the picture that she based it off of like she took my hum-drum Blogger profile picture and made it so cute and adorable and everything and of course I'll be bringing that drawing over to my blog to display proudly with her name on it but not before I force you all to visit her blog ^^)

(P.P.S. I just noticed that these sweet people left me awesome comments on my birthday post like over two months ago? Like why am I just now discovering these?

Of course every comment I get is amazing but I can't believe I never replied to you guys! >_< So if you go back now you'll see that everyone is all replied to :) I just can't stand to leave comments unresponded-to [aaaand that isn't even a real word or phrase so I think I'll just take my sleepy self to bed now])

(P.P.P.S wait before I leave I just want to say that the Blogaversary Giveaway closes at 12:00 a.m. CST tonight so if you haven't entered yet but are following, ENTER NOW because you won't be able to enter after 12:00 a.m. tonight! I'll be posting the winners' video on Wednesday so if you've already entered, stay tuned! ^^)

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777 Challenge + Adventures in Driving + LAST Month's Spotify Playlist (again -_-)

Hey guys!

I'm super excited by your response to the giveaway; I've got six valid entries already! Yay! I've hit my minimum! ^^ But that doesn't mean I don't want more entries; on the contrary, I encourage them! Remember, entry opportunities end Tuesday, September 8. Just a little reminder though; I only need you to comment/send me your email address for right now. If you win, then I'll contact you for a shipping address--I don't need one right now. Just putting this reminder out as I had a mishap with a girl who commented on the YouTube video and left her shipping address! Eek! I definitely don't want that to be public to everyone, so again, I just need an email address (and your name, and if you liked the video) for your entry.

Also, guess what? The amazingly talented Noor is hosting a giveaway right now too! Giveaway twins! ^^ Her prizes sound like they're going to be amazingly good so I would definitely hop on over and check out how to enter! Because why enter just one giveaway when you can enter two?

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Okay, so--a while ago, the gorgeous and talented Olivia (who is my total name twin AND birthday month twin *turn up*) tagged me for this 777 Challenge, which I've been seeing all over the place and totally loving.

Rules:

+ Share 7 lines from the 7th page of a book you're writing (I didn't exactly do that but)
+ Tag 7 people

I am a derp and not exactly writing any novel-y stuff at the moment. But I wrote a little something on my Figment account a looong time ago so I'll share a piece of that.

Beth still looked sad. “Tabitha, don’t make me go through this.”

I scowled. “Tell me,” I growled. “Tell me what you think you saw.”

Beth sighed heavily. “You fell into the lake,” she began slowly, “just like the rest of us, except backwards—and you just…stayed down there. You swam around a little, but then you just didn't move. And…and it looked like you were breathing in water. On purpose.”

I stood, motionless, listening to Beth’s description of what she had seen. When she finished, I began shaking my head, slowly at first, but then more and more vigorously.

“No,” I said. “That…that couldn’t have been…I mean, that’s not…that’s not what happened.”

Beth nodded grimly. “I believe that is what happened, Tabitha. I’m sorry.”

I sat down on the edge of the bunk, still shaking my head. Suddenly, the full coldness of the cabin hit me, and I rubbed my bare arms. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what really happened at the lake—what I’d seen, what I’d heard, what I’d done—but I couldn’t. All I remembered was the bright blue water and the yellow sunshine and that calm feeling I’d had. I’d felt at peace. I’d felt resolved. But…resolved to what?

Of course, what I pasted here is, like, twice the amount of lines I was supposed to, but who can properly share seven lines of a story without leaving readers lost? I know I sure can't.

So I'll tag some people who I know are amazing writers:

Tane
Sarah
Autumn
Eve
MaryShelley
Morning
Arushee

If you've already been tagged then of course you don't have to do it again--you don't really have to do it at all, either way. I just know all of these people are amazing writers and I'd really love to see some snippets of something (it doesn't have to be seven lines or from a book you're writing). But of course if you're busy with school right now, it's no bother. I know I rarely ever have time to even check my blog comments these days. But if any of you readers want to do this tag, go for it and say I tagged you! I want to see some awesome writing, guys ^^

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Moving on, I drove some more.

I think I've mentioned before that I obtained my permit a couple days after my birthday and I haven't really been keeping up driving practice, but I've been snatching in a few hours here and there.

Last month I drove my mom and little brother to my aunts' house for a family dinner. Okay, that might not be the best way to put that--I drove the rest of the way to my aunts' house. You see, we have to drive for about ten to fifteen minutes on the highway to get there, but once we'd gotten out of that hairy area, my mom and I switched seats and I drove on the streets. Although, that can be a harrowing experience as well as my aunts' house is right off of a super busy street that leads to an even busier highway, so pulling into their driveway can be a bit scary for a first-time driver like me. But I did it, without


a. dying

b. killing anyone else

c. parking in the grass

d. driving straight through the garage door


So I'd call that a success.

maybe

Then a couple weeks ago, I drove my mom to the store--it was my first time transitioning between neighborhood roads and busy roads with rush-hour traffic. But it was a good experience--even though I changed lanes like a bunch of times without signaling, and almost hit a woman's car. Once again, though, I didn't die. And being alive after fully parking the car = success.

And that same week, my dad took me out for an official driving lesson--more controlled atmosphere and no rush-hour traffic, but I was still on busier roads/streets and I drove 45 MILES PER HOUR FOR THE FIRST TIME. That sounds so silly, but for me, it felt so crazy to accelerate from 25 to 45 like that. It feels like I'm breaking the law or something--especially when you see that the cops have pulled over people in not one but two different spots on the road. I wasn't nervous about speeding though; I was worried about them peeping the twelve-year-old-looking girl driving cautiously on a busy road.

*slides down in seat*

But now I can't do anymore driving because I've broken my glasses! *crying* I've never broken my glasses before, so this is bad timing and just, in general, really crappy. We don't have the money right now to get them fixed or get a new pair, so I honestly don't know when I'll be able to drive again. Which really suckssss ughhhh.

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Anyway, moving on to happier things.

I'm once again sharing my monthly playlist too late. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Here it is:

LEAN WITH IT, ROCK WITH IT
WHEN WE GONNA STOP WITH IT
LYRICS THAT MEAN NOTHING
WE WERE GIFTED WITH THOUGHT

To be honest Holding On To You is so beautiful and just 4 minutes of complete yes. I like to believe it's about God (You should take my life / You should take my soul) which makes it like 4000000 times better. I loved watching Tyler and Josh's interview with...some dude idk but I remember Tyler saying that he wants his music to be about something; not singing about women or money or violence or "thrift shops" (lol a direct hit to Macklemore; I was crying), and then he expressed his faith so beautifully as only Tyler Joseph could and I just...wow.

So I feel like Holding On To You sort of encompasses all of what Tyler was saying in that interview. And I could probably listen to that song forever. (Also idk why but knowing who the drummer is just makes the song an extra 100000 times better because you just hear the drum solos and imagine Josh playing away and it's just awesome; you TØP listeners know what I'm saying)

CALLING OUT FATHER OH
PREPARE AS WE WILL
WATCH THE FLAMES BURN AUBURN ON
THE MOUNTAIN SIDE

When I first heard I See Fire while listening to Spotify radio (with which I have a volatile love/hate relationship), I nearly skipped it. Then I thought, "eh, why not, it's Ed Sheeran, let's give it a chance." And OMG BEST DECISION OF AUGUST 2k15. I love the way the song builds from just Ed and his guitar to, like, a full musical background that makes the entire song sound even more eerie. And of course the lyrics are amazing; I actually figured out that it was in reference to Desolation of Smaug all on my own (Desolation comes upon the sky / Now I see fire / Inside the mountain). And I don't even know anything about The Hobbit! So yay for me and my perception skills!

YOUR GRACE ABOUNDS IN DEEPEST WATERS
YOUR SOVEREIGN HAND
WILL BE MY GUIDE

I don't know what it is with me but lately I've been loving covers of songs more than the originals. So it is with the Gardiner Sisters' cover of Hillsong United's Oceans (Where Feet May Fail). Somehow the simple acoustic guitar elevates the girls' voices, and makes the song even better than the original. So I just love it. And I also definitely need more Christian lyrics in my life, so when it's mixed with my current love for acoustic songs, it's just all really good for me.

TAKE A BREAK FROM ALL THE PLANS
THAT YOU HAVE MADE
AND SIT AT HOME ALONE AND WAIT
FOR GOD TO WHISPER

I honestly did not know how much I needed this song until I heard it. Clear the Stage totally makes me rethink my relationship with Jesus and how I run my day. This song, combined with Tane's moving post, helped me to identify the idols in my life and begin cutting them down. The lyrics are just really straightforward, especially when he sings Anything I put before my God is an idol and Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol--that just plainly identifies, for me, what my idols are. Just because I'm not making graven images out of wood and metal doesn't mean I'm not putting things above God. So this song has really helped me in my spiritual walk.

You'll also see some instrumental songs on my playlist. I recently discovered the Vitamin String Quartet while searching for study music. Basically, they do stringed instruments covers of popular songs. AND IT IS AWESOME OKAY LIKE LISTEN TO THE ONE FOR CENTURIES AND JUST TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE MOST METAL THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD. I'm also in love with The Piano Guys' music right now; it's part of my study music too. Home and Story of My Life are just so pretty to me.

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Okay, so, that should about wrap it up for today! Again, if you're a follower and haven't entered my blogaversary giveaway yet, I'd suggest that you do! You can catch details on the prizes and how to enter here.

Also, let's get some feedback on the post! (I know, this one was sort of jam-packed full of stuff) What'd you guys think of my little writing up there? I know it could use some work. Are any of you driving or learning to drive? Have you killed anyone (or thing) yet? And don't be embarrassed if you have; I almost hit some people walking in the street once, so you're not alone. And what'd you think of my playlist? What's your favorite song from it? What were your favorite songs of August? Tell me all in the comments!

(P.S. okay so Leah said the cutest thing about me near the end of this post and I don't know if it's conceited of me to share it with you guys or not but I was just so squealing-ly excited to read it and I just want to give her a shout-out and say THAAAAANK YOOUUUU YOU ADORABLE GIRL and also while you guys are there check out her amazing art because that girl is so incredibly talented and why not give her a follow because her blog is awesome and she is awesome and okay okay I'll stop with the promo now but she totally deserves it)

(P.P.S. this post was insanely rushed so if you see any embarrassing or sentence-altering typos please please let me know so I can fix them! thanks! ^^)

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INTERVIEW POST | Abigail - Author Of My Hope

About a month ago, I got the chance to interview Abigail from Author Of My Hope. Unfortunately, I'm only having the opportunity to post it now! But better late than never, right? Anyway, read on to find out more about the awesome Abigail (whose blog deserves more followers by the way...*hint hint guys*)

Name? Abigail

Age? I turn 12 in August!

Top three fears? Sharks, Pain, and Dying

Last song you listened to? Holy Spirit By Francesca Battistelli

If you could have anything (literally anything--food, clothes, electronics, etc.) right now, what would it be? Oreos and a mini laptop! (Kind of random, I know!) ;)

What does your url mean? My url is authorofmyhope11.blogspot.com. I got the name Author Of My Hope from Francesca Battistelli's song, Write Your Story. I wanted my blog name to have something to do with Christ. I was thinking about it, and realized that God IS the author of my hope! The 11 in my url is because I was 11 when I created my blog! :)

Current favorite movie(s)? I love the movie Soul Surfer. It is so inspiring, and I have watched it sooo many times. ;)

Current favorite song(s)? Set The World On Fire by Britt Nicole and When The Crazy Kicks In by Francesca Battistelli!

Current favorite book(s)? I have been loving The Mother-Daughter Book Club series!

Current favorite band(s)? I don't really know too many bands, but one I like is the Newsboys.

Top three pet peeves? When people try to talk to me when I get to a really good part in a book.. and ...hmm...I can't really think of any more! ;)

Are you close with your parents? Yes! I am blessed with wonderful Christian parents who will take me to church every Sunday and pray with me every night and day. I am always doing fun things with them!

Favorite animals? Dogs, horses, guinea pigs and cats (sadly my dad is allergic to them)!

Favorite blogs? I like The Reid Who Writes, Writing for His Glory, Trusting in the Lord, Seven Sisters, Eve of Womanhood, The Ups and Downs of My Not-So-Average Life and I know I am forgetting some. ;)

Three bad habits? Needing to do things and putting them off for a loonng time! Not being consistent with my writing (I will write a ton for 2 days then not write for a month!). And going to sleep really late at night (I stay up reading!).

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I loved her answers! The story behind her blog url/name is so much more interesting that mine, and I love that song by Francesca Battistelli. We also have a lot of the same favorite blogs. And I'm the exact same when it comes to writing--I'll write like eight pages of dialogue and backstory and everything else and then it'll sit for, like, years. Literally years. So maybe I'm a bit worse than Abigail... :P

Anyway, make sure you check out Abigail's blog and also her interview of me!

(P.S. I'm so excited by the response to my giveaway! ^^ So sad that some of you can't enter though :( Next time I do a giveaway, I'll try to be more inclusive of states/territories/countries. But for those of you who can enter, I encourage you to do so! Remember, entry opportunities close on Tuesday, September 8.)

(P.P.S. Thank you for all the congratulations on blogging two years! It really means a lot to me that you guys have been with me all this time, and it encourages me to do more! So thank you again! ^^)

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OMG FINALLY | Two-Year Blog Anniversary + GIVEAWAYYYY

AGGGH FINALLY

THE TIME IS COME

IT IS HERE

AGHHHH

[insert screaming/running/crying/rocking/fangirling/asdfghjkl-ing/general excited-ness]

I. HAVE. OFFICIALLY. BEEN. BLOGGING. FOR. TWO YEARS!

And I have 73 beautiful followers to show for it! And an awesome community of blogger friends! Yay! Blogging is so worth it!

I just want to take right now to say thank you to all of you who stuck with me, especially from that rough beginning. And I want to thank all of you followers--you found my blog, looked around, and said "you know what, I like it here, I think I'll come back regularly." JUST THANK YOU. I find it so cute (yes I'm sorry I'm always mentally calling my followers "cute" because that's what you guys are to me you are cute) that you all chose to follow me. And I love all your little encouraging comments; sometimes when I'm feeling sad, I reread your old comments, and they make me smile. SO THANK YOU SO MUCH. I would certainly not be here if it weren't for you adorable people. And who knows, maybe this time next year, we'll have hit 100 and I'll be able to give you guys awesome stuff more regularly.

Speaking of giving away awesome stuff...has a girl named Olivia been ending a bunch of her recent posts with teasers of a giveaway? Well, that's strange, because...she was right!

AND HERE IT IS UGH FINALLY

Watch the vid below, and if you want to see the contest details again more clearly, read on below the video!

(sorry if I didn't sound all that excited; that was my second time recording the video as the first time I spent like ten minutes going over all the details, just to find out that the camera had been completely out of focus the entire time -_-)

Here are the rules/details laid out more clearly. (Sorry if it seems a bit long; if you want you can just read the "RULES" and "HOW TO ENTER" parts for now)

Below are some better pics of the prizes--although they might still be a bit blurry as I always shake when I take photos (I have no idea why)

First prize:

Second prize:

Third prize:

this shade is called "just plum good" (I would've showed the actual shade names of the lip glosses in the pictures but the print was so tiny that the camera just would not focus on it)

this one's called "apple a day"

this one is "blooming balm"

can I just say that I love this shade or more like it's shade name like if it wasn't blue I would wear it just because it's called "like, comment, or share" like really who came up with that because that is literally the perfect shade name

this one's purple; kinda hard to tell from the photo

by the way, there is a difference between this one and "Pretty in Mink"--I think this one is just straight black while Mink is more of a gray.

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Okay, so if you didn't click on the link above for more details, here's the basic "how to enter":

+ “Like” the video (I’ll be checking the number of entries vs the number of likes)

+ Comment below with your: (1) name, (2) email address, and (3) whether or not you “liked” the video

+ **If you do not wish to publicly share your email address, you can always enter via my contact form**

+ You must enter before 12:00 a.m. on Tuesday, September 8 (CST) in order to be eligible

And here are the basic giveaway rules:

1. Must have been a blog follower/channel subscriber BEFORE Tuesday, August 25 in order to be eligible to win

2. Must be living in U.S. to be eligible (excludes Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico)

3. No names can be eligible for more than one prize

That's about all you need to know for now! As the end of the giveaway draws nearer, I'll let you know if you really need to know more details. For now, the above information should hold you, and if you have any extra questions, be sure to check out the full rules and details before asking :)

So thank you so much guys! I think I might do a more in-depth post about my two-year blogging journey, but for right now I [finally] leave you with this celebration giveaway! ^^ Make sure you leave your entry below (or in the contact form) and, if you want, let me know what your favorite part of my haul was!

(Sorry for not using enough all-caps; it's super late at night now! :( )

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