Do you ever just...

Do you ever just sit and stare at the wall because you're trying not to explode with frustration, depression, disappointment, confusion, sadness, and anger?

I know, since I'm the Drama Queen you're probably not taking this seriously. And that's okay. Because I don't need to be put on suicide watch or anything. But, honestly, I'm really ticked.

Lately I've been trying not to automatically think "I cannot do anything." Now I can say, with experience to back me up, "I cannot do anything."

First I tried drawing and it sucked. I know I'm not going to be an ultimate professional manga artist by tomorrow but jeez, can my drawings just look human, please?

So I gave up on that and tried to do other stuff.

I've been trying to teach myself how to do html and blog editing and all that crap because I know I won't always have someone else to run to that will do it for me and I just like knowing how to do things for myself (excluding my hair of course). But Google and other blogs have not been very good resources as of late. I made one button all by myself (with a little tutorial from a Wordpress blog):

But I don't know how to link it to anything or insert it in my blog or do anything with it and I just uuuugggghhhh. And I know I shouldn't torture myself this way but did I really ask you to tell me something I already know?

Then I tried creating blogs using other things like Wix and Wordpress but they just looked suck-y. And I tried making new "creative" personal images but I totally flopped on that.

I've said previously that I experimented with scrapbooking and it looked like a "challenged" three-year-old had attacked some pictures with scissors and slapped them onto a piece of paper with waaaay too much glue.

I've tried inventing little things with leftover paper like the cute stuff I've seen on Tumblr, which usually results in:

a. Mom: Girl, get that trash up off the floor, I ain't gonna have more paper lying around this house!

or

b. Me: Man, forget this crap, I already stabbed myself with this stapler four times.

I just don't understand why I can't be all crafty or "computer crafty" or good at cute dainty stuff like other girls. Even my handwriting looks like I write with a defected hand or something. Why can't I have the delicate touch? Why can't I have the knack for cuteness? Why can't I own adorable trendy clothes? Why can't I make cute stuff? Why don't I have the natural feminine gene? Huh? HUH? HUH?!

Sorry, I'm ranting like a madgirl, but I'm just frustrated. *sigh* I guess I'll just go back to writing up weird, unnecessary extra details about fictional characters I'll never use--it seems that it's the only thing I'm good at other than breathing.