Man, movies are really going to...er...a very hot and unpleasant place

Oh, so being the lifele--eh, today I don't have the energy for the self-degrading adjectives. Look, I've been bored, so I've been watching trailers for upcoming 2014 movies. Have you seen those things? Man, someone must really be running out of things to write about. Just look at the very  rough "statistics" that I gathered yesterday through trailers from IMDB:

40% of 2014 movies: Action/thriller movies, in which the world is taken over by: talking apes, Godzilla, or some other evil force. The world must then be saved by: the X-Men, ninja turtles, Spiderman, the Transformers, or some other ridiculous super hero. Movies with this theme include: "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes", "Godzilla", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Captain America: The Winter Soldier", "The Amazing Spiderman 2", "Transformers: Age of Extinction", and "X-Men: Days of Future Past" (seriously? "days of future past"? who the heck named this thing?).

30% of 2014 movies: Horror movies, in which a "normal" house/person/town is haunted/possessed/tortured by ghosts/demons/evil presences and an exorcist/police officer/Sam Claflin must save him/her/them. Movies with these themes include: "Paranormal Activity: the Marked Ones", "Jessabelle", "The Quiet Ones", and "Deliver us from Evil" ('kay, gotta admit, that last one did look a little scary).

15% of 2014 movies: Romantic-ish movies, in which, as usual, a guy in a relationship makes one mistake, and we have to spend one and a half to two hours watching him patch things up with his girlfriend. Movies with this extremely dull and hackneyed theme include: "The Other Woman", "That Awkward Moment", "About Last Night", and "Think Like a Man Too".

10% of 2014 movies: Comedy movies, in which assorted funny things happen, depending on which movie you're watching and what you consider to be "funny". Movies with this sort of vague theme include: "A Haunted House 2", "Blended", "Ride Along", "22 Jump Street", and "Neighbors" (dude, Zac Efron is like the good-looking son of the devil in that movie).

5% of 2014 movies: Family movies, in which heart-warming and sometimes funny things happen. Movies with this now pretty unpopular theme include: "God's Not Dead", "Heaven is for Real", "Mom's Night Out", "Annie", and "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" (that is a ridiculously long title right there).

Man, those movies are...hmm. That's all I'll say for now. Just..hmm. Seriously, I'm just waiting for the next Hunger Games movies and that one superhero movie that will have Ben Affleck as Batman. That'll be fun.